Feedback Models – Why Do We Still Get it Wrong?

In the world of modern leadership, feedback is a critical tool for employee development and team growth. Creating a feedback culture is often spoken about as the ideal for organisations; they dream of a world where teams operate in a psychologically safe space, where communication is constructive, compassionate and collaborative. Teams strive for open, honest conversation, where boundaries are pushed safely and innovatively; where employees strive for continuous improvement based on radical candor, non-judgmental, unbiased communication; where striving for better, drives best performance.

So, why is it still the most common request we receive when designing leadership development programs? Why do we still get it wrong?

Despite the abundance of feedback models, leaders often fail to effectively communicate, leaving teams confused or disillusioned.

We explore why that might be the case, starting with a brief look at some of the most commonly referenced feedback models. We dive into what leaders may be missing when it comes to giving and receiving feedback.

Feedback Programme image

The top 5 Feedback Models

1. SBI (Situation-Behavior-Impact)
This model promotes a process which begins with defining a specific situation, the behavior observed, and the impact it had on others. It aims to be clear and objective but often lacks a focus on actionable steps.

2. AID (Action-Impact-Desired Behaviour/Do)
Similar to SBI, the AID model stresses the impact of an action and what change is needed in the future. It’s helpful for steering behavior in a constructive way but can feel prescriptive.

3. IDEA (Identify-Describe-Encourage-Action)
IDEA adopts a more coach-based approach; including encouragement alongside actionable feedback, which fosters support. Leaders may struggle with balancing honesty and positivity, potentially downplaying necessary criticism.

4. EEC (Example-Effect-Change/Continue)

A model that aims to capture the impetus for change to improve outcomes; recognizing and advocating for positive affirmation in equal measure.

5. STAR/L (Situation-Task-Action-Result/Learning)

A popular feedback model however it can lack focus on improvement and change; hence the addition of the L-Learning.

What’s Missing: Why Leaders Still Get It Wrong

Despite these well-structured models, feedback often misses the mark. Here’s why:

1. Emotional Intelligence and Empathy
Models provide structure, but leadership requires emotional intelligence. Many leaders focus on following the formula of a feedback model without tuning into the emotions of the recipient. Effective feedback requires a genuine understanding of the other person’s feelings and how the feedback will be received. For example, even well-delivered constructive feedback can trigger defensiveness if empathy isn’t shown. Leaders take care to consider ‘intention’ and what you want the ‘receiver’ to take away, while being aware of your own communication styles and how you may need to adapt this to meet the listener.

2. Actionability vs. Reflection
Feedback should always be actionable, yet leaders often forget to offer specific ways for improvement. Many models outline what needs to change but stop short of equipping the recipient with tools or guidance to improve. Help the receiver to consider ways they might change their thinking and behaviors in light of the desired impact. When feedback lacks practical steps, it becomes overwhelming and ineffective.

3. Consistency and Timing/Regularity
Leaders can either wait too long for formal feedback sessions or give feedback at inappropriate times. Feedback needs to be regular and provided close to the behavior it addresses. Delaying feedback for quarterly reviews makes it less effective, as employees may no longer connect the feedback to the specific behavior. On an organization level, inconsistency in terms of quality of feedback, tone and specifics can have a knock on effect in terms of morale and engagement. Train your leaders to give and receive feedback well.

4. Clarity and Directness
One common mistake is a lack of clarity. Feedback must be straightforward, yet many leaders beat around the bush, fearing confrontation. The feedback becomes muddled, leaving employees unsure of what to actually improve.

5. One-Sided Communication
Feedback should be a conversation, not a monologue. While some models encourage dialogue, many leaders still treat feedback as a one-way process. They focus solely on delivering their message without listening to the recipient’s perspective or allowing space for questions.

6. Over-Reliance on the Model
While feedback models provide structure, they are not a substitute for genuine connection. Leaders can get bogged down by adhering strictly to the model, losing the personal touch necessary to make feedback meaningful. Models are guides, not rules, and leaders must adapt their approach based on the individual and the situation.

Conclusion

Despite the plethora of feedback models available, leaders often fail because they overlook the human aspect of feedback. The best models provide structure, but true feedback success lies in emotional intelligence, actionable steps, clear communication, and a focus on dialogue rather than delivering a formulaic response. By incorporating empathy and real-time adjustments into their feedback, leaders can create the kind of culture where feedback, really is the gift it should be.

 

Feedback Models – Why Do We Still Get it Wrong?

In the world of modern leadership, feedback is a critical tool for employee development and team growth. Creating a feedback culture is often spoken about as the ideal for organisations; they dream of a world where teams operate in a psychologically safe space, where communication is constructive, compassionate and collaborative. Teams strive for open, honest conversation, where boundaries are pushed safely and innovatively; where employees strive for continuous improvement based on radical candour, non-judgmental, unbiased communication; where striving for better, drives best performance.

So, why is it still the most common request we receive when designing leadership development programmes? Why do we still get it wrong?

Despite the abundance of feedback models, leaders often fail to effectively communicate, leaving teams confused or disillusioned.

We explore why that might be the case, starting with a brief look at some of the most commonly referenced feedback models. We dive into what leaders may be missing when it comes to giving and receiving feedback.

Feedback Programme image

The Top 5 Feedback Models

1. SBI (Situation-Behaviour-Impact)
This model promotes a process which begins with defining a specific situation, the behaviour observed, and the impact it had on others. It aims to be clear and objective but often lacks a focus on actionable steps.

2. AID (Action-Impact-Desired Behaviour/Do)
Similar to SBI, the AID model stresses the impact of an action and what change is needed in the future. It’s helpful for steering behaviour in a constructive way but can feel prescriptive.

3. IDEA (Identify-Describe-Encourage-Action)
IDEA adopts a more coach-based approach; including encouragement alongside actionable feedback, which fosters support. Leaders may struggle with balancing honesty and positivity, potentially downplaying necessary criticism.

4. EEC (Example-Effect-Change/Continue)

A model that aims to capture the impetus for change to improve outcomes; recognising and advocating for positive affirmation in equal measure.

5. STAR/L (Situation-Task-Action-Result/Learning)

A popular feedback model however it can lack focus on improvement and change; hence the addition of the L-Learning.

What’s Missing: Why Leaders Still Get It Wrong

Despite these well-structured models, feedback often misses the mark. Here’s why:

1. Emotional Intelligence and Empathy
Models provide structure, but leadership requires emotional intelligence. Many leaders focus on following the formula of a feedback model without tuning into the emotions of the recipient. Effective feedback requires a genuine understanding of the other person’s feelings and how the feedback will be received. For example, even well-delivered constructive feedback can trigger defensiveness if empathy isn’t shown. Leaders take care to consider ‘intention’ and what you want the ‘receiver’ to take away, while being aware of your own communication styles and how they may need to adapt this to meet the listener.

2. Actionability vs. Reflection
Feedback should always be actionable, yet leaders often forget to offer specific ways for improvement. Many models outline what needs to change but stop short of equipping the recipient with tools or guidance to improve. Help the receiver to consider ways they might change their thinking and behaviours in light of the desired impact. When feedback lacks practical steps, it becomes overwhelming and ineffective.

3. Consistency and Timing/Regularity
Leaders can either wait too long for formal feedback sessions or give feedback at inappropriate times. Feedback needs to be regular and provided close to the behaviour it addresses. Delaying feedback for quarterly reviews makes it less effective, as employees may no longer connect the feedback to the specific behaviour. On an organisation level, inconsistency in terms of quality of feedback, tone and specifics can have a knock on effect in terms of morale and engagement. Train your leaders to give and receive feedback well.

4. Clarity and Directness
One common mistake is a lack of clarity. Feedback must be straightforward, yet many leaders beat around the bush, fearing confrontation. The feedback becomes muddled, leaving employees unsure of what to actually improve.

5. One-Sided Communication
Feedback should be a conversation, not a monologue. While some models encourage dialogue, many leaders still treat feedback as a one-way process. They focus solely on delivering their message without listening to the recipient’s perspective or allowing space for questions.

6. Over-Reliance on the Model
While feedback models provide structure, they are not a substitute for genuine connection. Leaders can get bogged down by adhering strictly to the model, losing the personal touch necessary to make feedback meaningful. Models are guides, not rules, and leaders must adapt their approach based on the individual and the situation.

Conclusion

Despite the plethora of feedback models available, leaders often fail because they overlook the human aspect of feedback. The best models provide structure, but true feedback success lies in emotional intelligence, actionable steps, clear communication, and a focus on dialogue rather than delivering a formulaic response. By incorporating empathy and real-time adjustments into their feedback, leaders can create the kind of culture where feedback, really is the gift it should be.

Reflective Practice – a practical guide and how to action

A Practical Guide to Reflective Practice for Leadership Development Using Gibbs’ Reflective Cycle

Reflective practice is your secret weapon when it comes to leadership development. It allows leaders to learn from experiences, adjust thinking and behaviours, and continuously improve their effectiveness.

Gibbs’ Reflective Cycle provides a structured framework for this process, making it one of the most powerful practices to master as a leader.

Graham Gibbs developed his “six-stage reflective model” (1988), which emphasises the process of turning reflections into actionable insights. Each stage encourages deep exploration of what happened, why it happened, and how to improve.

This practical guide will help you work through any situation where you might have experienced less than favourable results, and understand what changes you might want to take to ensure a better outcome. It promotes ownership and taking responsibility for your own behaviours and will help to shine a light on programmed behaviours which may now longer serve you when working with others.

Gibbs - Reflective cycle

Gibbs’ Reflective Cycle Template

Here is an template for you to use to get started using Gibbs’ Reflective Cycle. For each stage we’ve provided a template for the framework and also an example of how it might work in practice:

Stage 1: Description

In this stage, you describe the facts of the situation or experience that you want to reflect on. The goal is to capture the details without assigning judgment or bias at this stage.

Identify the experience: This could be a leadership challenge, a decision you made, a team conflict, or a project outcome.

Consider the following:

Leadership Example:
During a team meeting, a conflict arose between two team members about the direction of a project. As the leader, I tried to mediate, but the conversation escalated. The meeting ended without resolution, and team morale seemed low.

Stage 2: Feelings

Reflect on your internal experience, your emotional responses to the situation. Understanding your feelings is crucial because emotions often influence how leaders react and make decisions.

Reflect on your feelings during the event:

Be honest: It’s okay to acknowledge feelings of frustration, anxiety, confidence, or satisfaction, as these inform your behaviour. You can also begin to understand why these feelings might have been activated.

Leadership Example:
At the time, I felt frustrated and a bit powerless. I was also concerned about how the rest of the team perceived my handling of the situation. I wondered if they felt I lacked authority or the ability to resolve conflicts effectively.

Stage 3: Evaluation

Reflect on what went well and what didn’t. It’s important to take a balanced approach and acknowledge both the positive and negative aspects of the situation.

Identify successes:

Acknowledge mistakes:

Leadership Example:
On the positive side, I maintained my composure and ensured everyone had a chance to voice their opinions. However, I struggled to guide the conversation towards resolution. The conflict lingered, which affected team dynamics.

Stage 4: Analysis

Now you can analyse why things happened the way they did. Look for underlying causes, patterns, and dynamics that influenced the outcome.

Analyse causes:

Leverage frameworks:

Leadership Example:
The conflict escalated because I focused too much on being neutral rather than assertively steering the conversation towards a solution. My democratic leadership style worked in the past, but in this scenario, a more directive approach may have been necessary.

Stage 5: Conclusion

At this stage, take time to reflect on what you learned from the experience and consider how you might approach a similar situation differently in the future. It may sometimes help to explore these questions with a coach.

Lessons learnt:

Explore alternative approaches:

 Leadership Example:
In hindsight, I should have intervened earlier and more decisively. I could have proposed a compromise or set clear expectations for resolving the conflict. I also realized that I need to improve my skills in conflict resolution.

Stage 6: Action Plan

This final stage is about turning reflection into action. It’s about creating a plan for how you will apply your insights to future leadership challenges.

Develop a strategy:

Set goals:

Leadership Example:
Next time, I will adopt a more structured approach to conflict resolution, setting clear guidelines for discussions and stepping in earlier to mediate. I’ll also seek out training on managing difficult conversations to strengthen my skills in this area.

Gibbs Reflective Cycle Example

Here’s an example of how to integrate Gibbs’ model into your daily leadership practice:

  1. Set time for reflection: Regularly set aside time—whether daily, weekly, or after major events—for structured reflection using Gibbs’ cycle.
  2. Record your reflections in a journal: Writing down your reflections at each stage helps clarify your thinking and track your leadership growth over time.
  3. Solicit feedback: Ask for feedback from peers or mentors to gain different perspectives on your leadership. This can inform your reflection and action planning.
  4. Review and refine: Periodically review past reflections to identify recurring patterns or persistent challenges in your leadership. This will help you adjust and continuously improve.
  5. Practice self-awareness: Stay mindful of your emotions and thought patterns as you lead. This self-awareness is essential for meaningful reflection.

Benefits of a Reflective Model in Leadership Development

Enhanced Self-Awareness: By systematically reflecting on your actions, feelings, and outcomes, you develop a deeper understanding of your leadership strengths and areas for improvement.
Continuous Learning: The cycle encourages a mindset of lifelong learning, helping you evolve as a leader through every experience.
Improved Decision-Making: Reflecting on past decisions enables you to approach future situations with more clarity, confidence, and better judgment.
Increased Emotional Intelligence: By recognizing and analysing your emotions and those of others, you become more adept at managing interpersonal relationships and team dynamics.
Adaptive Leadership: The cycle helps you fine-tune your leadership style, making it more flexible and responsive to different challenges and contexts.

Reflecting on your own performance and outcomes is a critical part of improving leadership effectiveness; unlocking the power of reflection to cultivate resilience, insight, and adaptive leadership.

If you’d like to subscribe to receive regular practical coaching tips you can sign up to our Constant Coach series.

Reflective Practice With Gibbs’ Reflective Cycle

A Practical Guide to Reflective Practice for Leadership Development Using Gibbs’ Reflective Cycle

Reflective practice is your secret weapon when it comes to leadership development. It allows leaders to learn from experiences, adjust thinking and behaviours, and continuously improve their effectiveness.

Gibbs’ Reflective Cycle provides a structured framework for this process, making it one of the most powerful practices to master as a leader.

Graham Gibbs developed his “six-stage reflective model” (1988), which emphasises the process of turning reflections into actionable insights. Each stage encourages deep exploration of what happened, why it happened, and how to improve.

This practical guide will help you work through any situation where you might have experienced less than favourable results, and understand what changes you might want to take to ensure a better outcome. It promotes ownership and taking responsibility for your own behaviours and will help to shine a light on programmed behaviours which may now longer serve you when working with others.

Gibbs - Reflective cycle

Gibbs’ Reflective Cycle Template

Here is an template for you to use to get started using Gibbs’ Reflective Cycle. For each stage we’ve provided a template for the framework and also an example of how it might work in practice:

Stage 1: Description

In this stage, you describe the facts of the situation or experience that you want to reflect on. The goal is to capture the details without assigning judgment or bias at this stage.

Identify the experience: This could be a leadership challenge, a decision you made, a team conflict, or a project outcome.

Consider the following:

Leadership Example:
During a team meeting, a conflict arose between two team members about the direction of a project. As the leader, I tried to mediate, but the conversation escalated. The meeting ended without resolution, and team morale seemed low.

Stage 2: Feelings

Reflect on your internal experience, your emotional responses to the situation. Understanding your feelings is crucial because emotions often influence how leaders react and make decisions.

Reflect on your feelings during the event:

Be honest: It’s okay to acknowledge feelings of frustration, anxiety, confidence, or satisfaction, as these inform your behaviour. You can also begin to understand why these feelings might have been activated.

Leadership Example:
At the time, I felt frustrated and a bit powerless. I was also concerned about how the rest of the team perceived my handling of the situation. I wondered if they felt I lacked authority or the ability to resolve conflicts effectively.

Stage 3: Evaluation

Reflect on what went well and what didn’t. It’s important to take a balanced approach and acknowledge both the positive and negative aspects of the situation.

Identify successes:

Acknowledge mistakes:

Leadership Example:
On the positive side, I maintained my composure and ensured everyone had a chance to voice their opinions. However, I struggled to guide the conversation towards resolution. The conflict lingered, which affected team dynamics.

Stage 4: Analysis

Now you can analyse why things happened the way they did. Look for underlying causes, patterns, and dynamics that influenced the outcome.

Analyse causes:

Leverage frameworks:

Leadership Example:
The conflict escalated because I focused too much on being neutral rather than assertively steering the conversation towards a solution. My democratic leadership style worked in the past, but in this scenario, a more directive approach may have been necessary.

Stage 5: Conclusion

At this stage, take time to reflect on what you learned from the experience and consider how you might approach a similar situation differently in the future. It may sometimes help to explore these questions with a coach.

Lessons learnt:

Explore alternative approaches:

 Leadership Example:
In hindsight, I should have intervened earlier and more decisively. I could have proposed a compromise or set clear expectations for resolving the conflict. I also realized that I need to improve my skills in conflict resolution.

Stage 6: Action Plan

This final stage is about turning reflection into action. It’s about creating a plan for how you will apply your insights to future leadership challenges.

Develop a strategy:

Set goals:

Leadership Example:
Next time, I will adopt a more structured approach to conflict resolution, setting clear guidelines for discussions and stepping in earlier to mediate. I’ll also seek out training on managing difficult conversations to strengthen my skills in this area.

Gibbs Reflective Cycle Example

Here’s an example of how to integrate Gibbs’ model into your daily leadership practice:

  1. Set time for reflection: Regularly set aside time—whether daily, weekly, or after major events—for structured reflection using Gibbs’ cycle.
  2. Record your reflections in a journal: Writing down your reflections at each stage helps clarify your thinking and track your leadership growth over time.
  3. Solicit feedback: Ask for feedback from peers or mentors to gain different perspectives on your leadership. This can inform your reflection and action planning.
  4. Review and refine: Periodically review past reflections to identify recurring patterns or persistent challenges in your leadership. This will help you adjust and continuously improve.
  5. Practice self-awareness: Stay mindful of your emotions and thought patterns as you lead. This self-awareness is essential for meaningful reflection.

Benefits of a Reflective Model in Leadership Development

Enhanced Self-Awareness: By systematically reflecting on your actions, feelings, and outcomes, you develop a deeper understanding of your leadership strengths and areas for improvement.
Continuous Learning: The cycle encourages a mindset of lifelong learning, helping you evolve as a leader through every experience.
Improved Decision-Making: Reflecting on past decisions enables you to approach future situations with more clarity, confidence, and better judgment.
Increased Emotional Intelligence: By recognizing and analysing your emotions and those of others, you become more adept at managing interpersonal relationships and team dynamics.
Adaptive Leadership: The cycle helps you fine-tune your leadership style, making it more flexible and responsive to different challenges and contexts.

Reflecting on your own performance and outcomes is a critical part of improving leadership effectiveness; unlocking the power of reflection to cultivate resilience, insight, and adaptive leadership.

If you’d like to subscribe to receive regular practical coaching tips you can sign up to our Constant Coach series.

Understanding your Personal Values

Understanding your personal values is a powerful step toward greater self-awareness and personal growth. When we understand our values we can do work and operate in a way that is aligned to them. Values are the guiding principles that shape our behaviors, decisions, and interactions. By gaining clarity on what truly matters to you, you can make more informed choices and align your life with your core beliefs.  When our external world is not aligned to our ‘inner’ world, we can experience a deep rooted tension. Let’s explore why your values are important, how they influence various aspects of your life, and how understanding them can enhance your sense of purpose and fulfilment.

The Importance of Personal Values

Personal values are fundamental to our identity, shaping how we perceive the world and interact with it. They are deeply ingrained beliefs that guide our choices and influence our emotional responses. Here are a few reasons why knowing your values is crucial:

  1. Guidance and Direction: Values act as a compass, providing a sense of direction in life. They help you prioritize your time, energy, and resources, ensuring that you focus on what truly matters to you. When faced with difficult decisions, your values serve as a framework to evaluate options and make choices that align with your true self.
  2. Consistency and Integrity: Living in accordance with your values fosters a sense of integrity and authenticity. When your actions align with your values, you experience greater consistency and self-respect. This integrity not only strengthens your self-image but also enhances your reputation with others.
  3. Emotional Resilience: Understanding your values can increase your resilience in challenging situations. By staying true to your core beliefs, you can navigate difficult times with confidence and clarity. Values provide a sense of stability, allowing you to remain grounded even when external circumstances are uncertain.
  4. Increased Satisfaction: When your daily activities reflect your values, you experience higher levels of satisfaction and fulfilment. Aligning your actions with your values leads to a life that feels more meaningful and purposeful.

How Values Affect Your Behavior and Relationships

Your values influence your behavior and responses in various aspects of your life, from personal relationships to professional interactions. Here’s how:

Personal Relationships

Values play a pivotal role in shaping how you connect with others. When your relationships align with your values, you experience deeper connections and mutual respect. For example, if honesty is a core value, you’ll likely prioritize open and transparent communication with your loved ones. This authenticity fosters trust and intimacy, strengthening your relationships.

Values also impact the way you resolve conflicts. If compassion is a key value, you’ll approach disagreements with empathy and understanding, striving for resolutions that honour the perspectives of all parties involved. By aligning your interactions with your values, you create relationships that are more harmonious and enduring.

Working Relationships

In the workplace, values play a critical role in how you collaborate with colleagues. When you share common values with your team, it fosters a positive work environment and enhances teamwork. For instance, if teamwork is a key value, you’ll be more inclined to support and uplift your colleagues.

Values also influence your leadership style. Leaders who prioriti\e integrity and transparency build trust within their teams, creating a culture of openness and accountability. By aligning your professional interactions with your values, you contribute to a more productive and positive workplace.

Meetings and Collaborations

During meetings and collaborative projects, values influence your participation and contributions. If innovation is a core value, you may approach discussions with creativity and a willingness to explore new ideas. This openness can lead to more dynamic and effective problem-solving.

Values also affect how you perceive feedback. If growth and learning are important values, you’ll likely embrace constructive criticism as an opportunity for improvement rather than a threat to your self-worth. By aligning your mindset with your values, you can engage more effectively in collaborative settings.

Decision-Making and Problem-Solving

Values serve as a filter for decision-making. When faced with choices, aligning your decisions with your values ensures that you remain true to yourself and make choices that reflect your priorities. For example, if environmental sustainability is a core value, you’ll likely consider the ecological impact of your decisions.

Values also influence how you approach problem-solving. If compassion is a key value, you may prioritise solutions that address the needs and well-being of others. By aligning your decision-making process with your values, you create outcomes that are more aligned with your ethical beliefs and aspirations.

Ikigai modelAligning Values with Purpose: The Ikigai Model

Together, aligning to your values AND your purpose creates the strongest foundations for a meaningful life. The Ikigai model offers a framework for finding your purpose by integrating your values with your passions, skills, and the needs of the world. Ikigai, a Japanese concept, translates to “a reason for being” and is often visualized as the intersection of four key elements. You can take this model and write your responses in each section to help you find your ‘ikigai’:

  1. What You Love (Passion): What are the activities that bring you joy and fulfilment? When your work aligns with your passions, it feels less like a chore and more like an expression of who you are.
  2. What You Are Good At (Vocation): What skills and talents do you excel in? When we are involved in a task that we are good at, we are more likely to be motivated to try and master that skill, challenging ourselves to improve and do better, seeking that sense of satisfaction at having done something well. It feels good. Leveraging your strengths in your work leads to greater effectiveness and confidence.
  3. What the World Needs (Mission): How can you best serve or contribute to society? When your work addresses a genuine need, that you are providing something of worth to society, it becomes more meaningful and impactful.
  4. What You Can Be Paid For (Profession): What work might we do that provides value that generates income. Aligning your career with your financial goals ensures sustainability and stability.

By understanding your values and how they intersect with these elements, you can find a sense of purpose that resonates deeply with who you are. When your work aligns with your values and purpose, you experience greater satisfaction and motivation.

Taking Action: Aligning Your Life with Your Values

Understanding your personal values is just the beginning. Here are some steps to help you align your life more closely with your values and beliefs:

  1. Reflect Regularly: Take time to reflect on your values and how they are manifesting in your life. Journaling can be a valuable tool for gaining insight and clarity. Set aside moments to assess whether your actions align with your core beliefs and make adjustments as needed. Identify situations or moments where you feel angry, annoyed, withdrawn, frustrated which results in a reactive response and consider why this is the case. What values are being stepped on that might be causing your ‘emotional brain’ to react so  negatively? Exploring the beliefs that lie behind these responses will help you to master your own responses in future similar situations and achieve better outcomes. 
  2. Set Value-Driven Goals: Create goals that are aligned with your values. This ensures that your actions are purposeful and meaningful. When your goals reflect your values, you are more likely to stay motivated and committed to achieving them.
  3. Evaluate Choices: When making decisions, consider how each option aligns with your values. Choose paths that resonate with your core beliefs. This approach helps you avoid decisions that may lead to regret or dissatisfaction.
  4. Communicate Openly: Share your values with those around you. Open communication fosters understanding and strengthens relationships. By expressing your values, you create an environment where others can support and respect your priorities.
  5. Seek Alignment in Work: Look for opportunities and roles that align with your values. When your work reflects your values, you’ll find greater fulfilment and engagement. Seek out organizations and projects that share your values, creating a sense of purpose in your professional life.
  6. Embrace Growth and Learning: Be open to revisiting and refining your values as you grow and evolve. Life experiences can shape and shift your beliefs, so remain flexible and willing to adapt.
  7. Practice Self-Compassion: Recognize that aligning your life with your values is a journey, not a destination. Be kind to yourself as you navigate challenges and setbacks, and celebrate your progress along the way.

Conclusion

By understanding and embracing your personal values, you can create a life that is more authentic, purposeful, and fulfilling. Your values are the key to unlocking a deeper understanding of yourself and the world around you. As you continue on your journey, remember that aligning your values with your actions and choices will lead to a more harmonious and meaningful life.

Understanding your Personal Values

Understanding your personal values is a powerful step toward greater self-awareness and personal growth. When we understand our values we can do work and operate in a way that is aligned to them. Values are the guiding principles that shape our behaviours, decisions, and interactions. By gaining clarity on what truly matters to you, you can make more informed choices and align your life with your core beliefs.  When our external world is not aligned to our ‘inner’ world, we can experience a deep rooted tension. Let’s explore why your values are important, how they influence various aspects of your life, and how understanding them can enhance your sense of purpose and fulfilment.

The Importance of Personal Values

Personal values are fundamental to our identity, shaping how we perceive the world and interact with it. They are deeply ingrained beliefs that guide our choices and influence our emotional responses. Here are a few reasons why knowing your values is crucial:

  1. Guidance and Direction: Values act as a compass, providing a sense of direction in life. They help you prioritise your time, energy, and resources, ensuring that you focus on what truly matters to you. When faced with difficult decisions, your values serve as a framework to evaluate options and make choices that align with your true self.
  2. Consistency and Integrity: Living in accordance with your values fosters a sense of integrity and authenticity. When your actions align with your values, you experience greater consistency and self-respect. This integrity not only strengthens your self-image but also enhances your reputation with others.
  3. Emotional Resilience: Understanding your values can increase your resilience in challenging situations. By staying true to your core beliefs, you can navigate difficult times with confidence and clarity. Values provide a sense of stability, allowing you to remain grounded even when external circumstances are uncertain.
  4. Increased Satisfaction: When your daily activities reflect your values, you experience higher levels of satisfaction and fulfilment. Aligning your actions with your values leads to a life that feels more meaningful and purposeful.

How Values Affect Your Behaviour and Relationships

Your values influence your behaviour and responses in various aspects of your life, from personal relationships to professional interactions. Here’s how:

Personal Relationships

Values play a pivotal role in shaping how you connect with others. When your relationships align with your values, you experience deeper connections and mutual respect. For example, if honesty is a core value, you’ll likely prioritise open and transparent communication with your loved ones. This authenticity fosters trust and intimacy, strengthening your relationships.

Values also impact the way you resolve conflicts. If compassion is a key value, you’ll approach disagreements with empathy and understanding, striving for resolutions that honour the perspectives of all parties involved. By aligning your interactions with your values, you create relationships that are more harmonious and enduring.

Working Relationships

In the workplace, values play a critical role in how you collaborate with colleagues. When you share common values with your team, it fosters a positive work environment and enhances teamwork. For instance, if teamwork is a key value, you’ll be more inclined to support and uplift your colleagues.

Values also influence your leadership style. Leaders who prioritise integrity and transparency build trust within their teams, creating a culture of openness and accountability. By aligning your professional interactions with your values, you contribute to a more productive and positive workplace.

Meetings and Collaborations

During meetings and collaborative projects, values influence your participation and contributions. If innovation is a core value, you may approach discussions with creativity and a willingness to explore new ideas. This openness can lead to more dynamic and effective problem-solving.

Values also affect how you perceive feedback. If growth and learning are important values, you’ll likely embrace constructive criticism as an opportunity for improvement rather than a threat to your self-worth. By aligning your mindset with your values, you can engage more effectively in collaborative settings.

Decision-Making and Problem-Solving

Values serve as a filter for decision-making. When faced with choices, aligning your decisions with your values ensures that you remain true to yourself and make choices that reflect your priorities. For example, if environmental sustainability is a core value, you’ll likely consider the ecological impact of your decisions.

Values also influence how you approach problem-solving. If compassion is a key value, you may prioritise solutions that address the needs and well-being of others. By aligning your decision-making process with your values, you create outcomes that are more aligned with your ethical beliefs and aspirations.

Ikigai modelAligning Values with Purpose: The Ikigai Model

Together, aligning to your values AND your purpose creates the strongest foundations for a meaningful life. The Ikigai model offers a framework for finding your purpose by integrating your values with your passions, skills, and the needs of the world. Ikigai, a Japanese concept, translates to “a reason for being” and is often visualised as the intersection of four key elements. You can take this model and write your responses in each section to help you find your ‘ikigai’:

  1. What You Love (Passion): What are the activities that bring you joy and fulfilment? When your work aligns with your passions, it feels less like a chore and more like an expression of who you are.
  2. What You Are Good At (Vocation): What skills and talents do you excel in? When we are involved in a task that we are good at, we are more likely to be motivated to try and master that skill, challenging ourselves to improve and do better, seeking that sense of satisfaction at having done something well. It feels good. Leveraging your strengths in your work leads to greater effectiveness and confidence.
  3. What the World Needs (Mission): How can you best serve or contribute to society? When your work addresses a genuine need, that you are providing something of worth to society, it becomes more meaningful and impactful.
  4. What You Can Be Paid For (Profession): What work might we do that provides value that generates income. Aligning your career with your financial goals ensures sustainability and stability.

By understanding your values and how they intersect with these elements, you can find a sense of purpose that resonates deeply with who you are. When your work aligns with your values and purpose, you experience greater satisfaction and motivation.

Taking Action: Aligning Your Life with Your Values

Understanding your personal values is just the beginning. Here are some steps to help you align your life more closely with your values and beliefs:

  1. Reflect Regularly: Take time to reflect on your values and how they are manifesting in your life. Journaling can be a valuable tool for gaining insight and clarity. Set aside moments to assess whether your actions align with your core beliefs and make adjustments as needed. Identify situations or moments where you feel angry, annoyed, withdrawn, frustrated which results in a reactive response and consider why this is the case. What values are being stepped on that might be causing your ‘emotional brain’ to react so  negatively? Exploring the beliefs that lie behind these responses will help you to master your own responses in future similar situations and achieve better outcomes. 
  2. Set Value-Driven Goals: Create goals that are aligned with your values. This ensures that your actions are purposeful and meaningful. When your goals reflect your values, you are more likely to stay motivated and committed to achieving them.
  3. Evaluate Choices: When making decisions, consider how each option aligns with your values. Choose paths that resonate with your core beliefs. This approach helps you avoid decisions that may lead to regret or dissatisfaction.
  4. Communicate Openly: Share your values with those around you. Open communication fosters understanding and strengthens relationships. By expressing your values, you create an environment where others can support and respect your priorities.
  5. Seek Alignment in Work: Look for opportunities and roles that align with your values. When your work reflects your values, you’ll find greater fulfilment and engagement. Seek out organisations and projects that share your values, creating a sense of purpose in your professional life.
  6. Embrace Growth and Learning: Be open to revisiting and refining your values as you grow and evolve. Life experiences can shape and shift your beliefs, so remain flexible and willing to adapt.
  7. Practice Self-Compassion: Recognise that aligning your life with your values is a journey, not a destination. Be kind to yourself as you navigate challenges and setbacks, and celebrate your progress along the way.

Conclusion

By understanding and embracing your personal values, you can create a life that is more authentic, purposeful, and fulfilling. Your values are the key to unlocking a deeper understanding of yourself and the world around you. As you continue on your journey, remember that aligning your values with your actions and choices will lead to a more harmonious and meaningful life.