Developing assertiveness is a key aspect of successful leadership and effective teamwork, but it can often be difficult for people to demonstrate consistently at work.
Especially when the pressures of work have us pulled in all directions.
For those who find it challenging to develop assertiveness on their own, formal assertiveness training can provide the structured support needed to improve these essential skills.
Helping individuals to build the confidence to say ‘no’ and to understand why it is sometimes important to do so could therefore be a fantastic boon to many businesses.
Understanding Assertiveness in the Workplace
Adopting an assertive mindset provides the opportunity for individuals to more easily work alongside others and to bring together people in a constructive manner. Here is a definition of assertiveness that we believe holds the key to understanding what we mean:
The ability to confidently express your needs, rights and views without invading the needs, rights and views of others.
Assertiveness is all about effective communication and having the confidence to put across one’s own point of view in a calm and positive way. At the same time, there is the need to take into account the position of others to deliver the best outcome for mutual satisfaction.
What is Assertive Behavior?
Assertive behavior is a communication style that involves standing up for oneself while respecting the rights and feelings of others. It is a healthy and diplomatic way of expressing oneself, which can help individuals achieve their goals and needs in a respectful and effective manner. Assertive behavior is characterized by direct and clear communication, active listening, and a willingness to compromise. It is not about being aggressive or passive, but rather finding a balance between the two.
When you exhibit assertive behavior, you express your feelings and needs directly, while maintaining respect for others. This approach is crucial for effective communication and building strong relationships in both personal and professional settings. By being assertive, you are more likely to be taken seriously, earn respect from others, and achieve your goals. Assertive behavior fosters an environment of mutual respect and understanding, which is essential for any successful business.
Why is Assertiveness Training Essential?
Being assertive helps to ensure that effective communication is taking place within an organization. It ensures that all parties know where they stand and the difficult task of delivering on promises can be more easily achieved.
Developing assertiveness can significantly boost self-confidence and self-esteem, leading to more effective communication and stronger relationships.
Dealing with conflict can be one of the most difficult aspects of business, but developing assertive behaviors can help to limit distress for all parties. To do so, we need to understand the common approaches to conflict resolution, and these are:
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- Competition – assertive but uncooperative – competition sees individuals pursuing their own goals with little interest in supporting others.
- Accommodation – unassertive but cooperative – the opposite of competition; accommodating behavior includes an element of self-sacrifice and can ultimately lead to resentment and a neglect of one’s own responsibilities.
- Avoiding – unassertive and uncooperative – not dealing with the situation at hand and hoping that things will resolve themselves on their own. This is arguably the worst attitude to have when faced with a conflict.
- Compromise – moderate in both assertiveness and cooperation – compromise means finding a mutually acceptable solution to a problem, but which does not fully meet the requirements of either party.
- Collaboration – both assertive and cooperative – the opposite of avoiding; collaboration is a process that sees individuals working closely with others to resolve their problems.
The goal of assertiveness is to foster this final behavior. Collaboration means digging into an issue to pinpoint the underlying needs and wants of the two individuals, who are then able to work together to deliver a successful outcome that satisfies all – the best possible result for any business.
The Impact of Non-Assertive Behavior
Non-assertive behavior can have a significant impact on an individual’s personal and professional life. Passive behavior, for example, can lead to feelings of resentment and frustration, as individuals may feel that their needs and wants are not being met. Aggressive behavior, on the other hand, can damage relationships and lead to conflict.
Passive-aggressive behavior can be particularly damaging, as it can create a sense of powerlessness and helplessness in others. This type of behavior can also lead to feelings of anger and hurt, as individuals may feel that they are being manipulated or controlled.
In the workplace, non-assertive behavior can lead to decreased productivity, poor communication, and a lack of respect from colleagues. It can also lead to feelings of burnout and stress, as individuals may feel that they are not being heard or valued. By understanding the negative impacts of passive, aggressive, and passive-aggressive behaviors, individuals can see the importance of developing assertive skills to foster a more positive and productive work environment.
Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Model for Assertiveness
Balancing our Own Needs Against Others with Mutual Respect
What people need to understand is that being assertive does not simply mean imposing your will. Assertiveness is not about getting your own way, nor is it about manipulating others.
While some individuals are naturally assertive, others may need to develop this skill through practice and training.
Assertiveness ensures that everyone gets a favourable outcome when discussing their expectations of both themselves and others. It provides a clear understanding of what is needed from each individual in a way that is unambiguous and geared to facilitating a favourable response.
An example of assertive behavior may be a demanding boss calling upon you to deliver a project in an unrealistic timeframe. In cases like this, it can be easy to simply become frustrated and say that it’s not achievable. However, a more assertive response would be to properly explain the situation and come to a compromise.
Perhaps they could take away some less pressing work to make capacity for this more urgent project? Or, the project could be put on hold until it can be delivered without the need to rush? In both of these outcomes, delivering a satisfactory result depends upon you being willing to stand up for your own best interests and those of the business in delivering the best possible work.
When people are able to successfully incorporate the following traits into the way they communicate with others, this creates an assertive tone and mindset that can help to build respect and get things done:
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- Stating expectations
- Expressing needs, wants or requirements
- Expressing feelings
- Providing feedback
- Keeping it clear and simple
- Avoiding ambiguity
- Firm and warm
- Uncompromising non-verbal behavior
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Assertive communication is a key to better business
By helping individuals at all levels of your organization to work in an assertive manner, you are developing more respectful and productive teams. The advantages that this holds for businesses include increased efficiency, greater staff happiness and wellbeing, well-run teams and, ultimately, a better bottom line.
Assertive behavior and communication also helps people to come away from situations with a stronger feeling of satisfaction and self-worth, happy in the knowledge that they have done themselves justice. Unlike aggressive behavior, which involves using anger and intimidation, or passive aggressive behavior, which reflects a lack of honesty and self-respect, assertive communication fosters mutual respect and understanding.
Body Language and Nonverbal Cues
Body language and nonverbal cues play a significant role in assertive communication. Positive body language, such as maintaining eye contact, standing up straight, and using open and relaxed gestures, can convey confidence and assertiveness. Facial expressions, such as a positive facial expression, can also convey assertiveness and confidence.
On the other hand, negative body language, such as crossing one’s arms or avoiding eye contact, can convey passivity or aggression. It is essential to be aware of one’s body language and nonverbal cues, as they can significantly impact how others perceive us. By aligning your body language with your verbal communication, you can ensure that your message is received clearly and assertively.
The Power of Body Language
Body language is a powerful tool that can convey assertiveness and confidence. When individuals exhibit positive body language, they are more likely to be taken seriously and earn respect from others. Positive body language can also help individuals feel more confident and assertive, which can lead to more effective communication and better relationships.
Some examples of positive body language include:
- Maintaining eye contact
- Standing up straight
- Using open and relaxed gestures
- Smiling and using a positive facial expression
- Making use of personal space
On the other hand, negative body language can convey passivity or aggression. Some examples of negative body language include:
- Crossing one’s arms or legs
- Avoiding eye contact
- Slouching or leaning away
- Frowning or using a negative facial expression
- Invading personal space
By being mindful of your body language, you can enhance your assertive communication and build stronger, more respectful relationships.
Building Assertiveness Skills
Building assertiveness skills takes time and practice. However, with the right techniques and strategies, individuals can develop the skills they need to communicate effectively and assertively.
Practicing Assertiveness
Practicing assertiveness involves using “I” statements, setting boundaries, and expressing one’s needs and wants directly. It also involves being aware of one’s body language and nonverbal cues, as well as being open to feedback and compromise.
Some tips for practicing assertiveness include:
- Using “I” statements to express feelings and needs
- Setting clear boundaries and expectations
- Expressing needs and wants directly and respectfully
- Being aware of body language and nonverbal cues
- Being open to feedback and compromise
- Practicing assertiveness in low-risk situations
By practicing assertiveness, individuals can develop the skills they need to communicate effectively and assertively. This can lead to better relationships, increased confidence and self-respect, and a greater sense of self-worth. Assertiveness training can be a valuable tool for anyone looking to improve their communication skills and build stronger, more respectful relationships in both personal and professional settings.
You can find out more about the importance of being assertive and how developing a stronger mental attitude in the workplace can provide real and lasting benefits for all by reading ‘Bolstering mental toughness: A how-to guide’.
