Feedback -giving and receiving the gift

Feedback Models – Why Do We Still Get it Wrong?

So many feedback models – why do we still get it so wrong? How can leaders turn giving and receiving feedback into the gift it should be?

In the world of modern leadership, feedback is a critical tool for employee development and team growth. Creating a feedback culture is often spoken about as the ideal for organisations; they dream of a world where teams operate in a psychologically safe space, where communication is constructive, compassionate and collaborative. Teams strive for open, honest conversation, where boundaries are pushed safely and innovatively; where employees strive for continuous improvement based on radical candour, non-judgmental, unbiased communication; where striving for better, drives best performance.

So, why is it still the most common request we receive when designing leadership development programmes? Why do we still get it wrong?

Despite the abundance of feedback models, leaders often fail to effectively communicate, leaving teams confused or disillusioned.

We explore why that might be the case, starting with a brief look at some of the most commonly referenced feedback models. We dive into what leaders may be missing when it comes to giving and receiving feedback.

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The Top 5 Feedback Models

1. SBI (Situation-Behaviour-Impact)
This model promotes a process which begins with defining a specific situation, the behaviour observed, and the impact it had on others. It aims to be clear and objective but often lacks a focus on actionable steps.

2. AID (Action-Impact-Desired Behaviour/Do)
Similar to SBI, the AID model stresses the impact of an action and what change is needed in the future. It’s helpful for steering behaviour in a constructive way but can feel prescriptive.

3. IDEA (Identify-Describe-Encourage-Action)
IDEA adopts a more coach-based approach; including encouragement alongside actionable feedback, which fosters support. Leaders may struggle with balancing honesty and positivity, potentially downplaying necessary criticism.

4. EEC (Example-Effect-Change/Continue)

A model that aims to capture the impetus for change to improve outcomes; recognising and advocating for positive affirmation in equal measure.

5. STAR/L (Situation-Task-Action-Result/Learning)

A popular feedback model however it can lack focus on improvement and change; hence the addition of the L-Learning.

What’s Missing: Why Leaders Still Get It Wrong

Despite these well-structured models, feedback often misses the mark. Here’s why:

1. Emotional Intelligence and Empathy
Models provide structure, but leadership requires emotional intelligence. Many leaders focus on following the formula of a feedback model without tuning into the emotions of the recipient. Effective feedback requires a genuine understanding of the other person’s feelings and how the feedback will be received. For example, even well-delivered constructive feedback can trigger defensiveness if empathy isn’t shown. Leaders take care to consider ‘intention’ and what you want the ‘receiver’ to take away, while being aware of your own communication styles and how they may need to adapt this to meet the listener.

2. Actionability vs. Reflection
Feedback should always be actionable, yet leaders often forget to offer specific ways for improvement. Many models outline what needs to change but stop short of equipping the recipient with tools or guidance to improve. Help the receiver to consider ways they might change their thinking and behaviours in light of the desired impact. When feedback lacks practical steps, it becomes overwhelming and ineffective.

3. Consistency and Timing/Regularity
Leaders can either wait too long for formal feedback sessions or give feedback at inappropriate times. Feedback needs to be regular and provided close to the behaviour it addresses. Delaying feedback for quarterly reviews makes it less effective, as employees may no longer connect the feedback to the specific behaviour. On an organisation level, inconsistency in terms of quality of feedback, tone and specifics can have a knock on effect in terms of morale and engagement. Train your leaders to give and receive feedback well.

4. Clarity and Directness
One common mistake is a lack of clarity. Feedback must be straightforward, yet many leaders beat around the bush, fearing confrontation. The feedback becomes muddled, leaving employees unsure of what to actually improve.

5. One-Sided Communication
Feedback should be a conversation, not a monologue. While some models encourage dialogue, many leaders still treat feedback as a one-way process. They focus solely on delivering their message without listening to the recipient’s perspective or allowing space for questions.

6. Over-Reliance on the Model
While feedback models provide structure, they are not a substitute for genuine connection. Leaders can get bogged down by adhering strictly to the model, losing the personal touch necessary to make feedback meaningful. Models are guides, not rules, and leaders must adapt their approach based on the individual and the situation.

Conclusion

Despite the plethora of feedback models available, leaders often fail because they overlook the human aspect of feedback. The best models provide structure, but true feedback success lies in emotional intelligence, actionable steps, clear communication, and a focus on dialogue rather than delivering a formulaic response. By incorporating empathy and real-time adjustments into their feedback, leaders can create the kind of culture where feedback, really is the gift it should be.

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